I saw Watchmen.
How to Make a Overhyped Piece of Crap Solely to Make Millions, The Zack Snyder Way!:
-Adapt a graphic novel
-Get a REALLY huge budget
-Have a character with a really deep voice
-Slow-mo, Slow-mo, Slow-mo!
-Fetishize the male body
-Make one of the main characters all deep and insightful and shit
-Spend almost all of your money on special effects and an amazing art team so people think you are a master of your craft
Follow these simple steps and you can make overhyped movies that piss me off instantly!
Truth is, this movie was nothing out of the ordinary. The graphic novel was good, but the movie wasn't really worth the $9.00 I paid to see it. The commercials advertised Zack Snyder (right)
as a "visionary genius" but really, what has he done that is worth so much merit? He took images and characters thought up by Frank Miller for 300 and just made them live action. Whoop-de-doo. For Dawn of the Dead, he just remade the idea which was thought up by George A. Romero. Faster zombies, more gore, update the violence, update the make-up, etc. Sure, I thought it was worth watching and, I'll admit it, I own it, but at the same time, I wouldn't call him a "visionary genius". For Watchmen, he took a graphic novel, did the EXACT same thing he did with 300, and people crapped themselves over it. Yeah, visually, it was pretty cool... BUT IT WASN'T HIS VISION!!!!! It was the vision of the original artists. He just made them live action again. Also, what the hell is wrong with Snyder? Why does he feel that EVERY action scene needs to constantly alternate from normal speed to slow motion? He overuses that effect to the point where it just becomes cliche. It looses the power behind it. In addition to Snyder epic failing in 10 different ways, his choice of music for specific scenes was attrocious. I mean, I got what he was going for, sure, but he failed really badly. Overall, I would probably give Watchmen a 2 out of 5. Will I buy it? No. Did I think it was the worse film I have ever seen? No. I didn't like it. I paid WAAAAYYYY too much to see it and I regret supporting him. I feel like I just watched an Uwe Boll movie...All that aside, I have one more thing to say about the film industry: What the hell is up with all of these remakes? If I were a director and someone was like "I want to redo your film", I would take that as them saying "Your work was good, but I can do a better job." It's just a slap in the face! Last House on the Left, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, etc. It really just needs to stop. I guess if there is money to be made...
I hope Michael Bay never makes another film again and I hope he goes bankrupt.
I bought a zippo and have been learning some awesome tricks with it. I want to get good. Nick Ivanovich would probably tell you I have been failing at my skills but I have gotten some cool tricks. And by that I mean 3... I'll get better though.
I should probably study for psychology soon...
I should probably watch my netflix movies soon...
I should probably read my Michael Moore book soon...
But I don't think I will.
Oscar Wilde quote of the day: "Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
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